Ma’am, we need to take a look in your bag…

I was in a super-bloggy minded mood yesterday, but due to my extreme tiredness from being white trash, I napped instead.  So here I am, on my lunch break, trying to regurgitate my own thoughts :-S

After partying hard on Saturday night (thanks Jay!), I had to get up too early – which for me happens on a daily basis – for a morning flight back to Seattle.  See I’m taking this knitting class, and well, since I’m still such a newbie, I figured I’d better make it as I needed the practice.  So up I arose at 7am, I slowly made my way to the shower, as I even smelled white trash, like I lived in a trailer with no water.  

Pre-funking at Nordy's

My dirty “tan” mostly washed away, and after 2 shampooings and scrubbing my face with lots of soap – most of the makeup and hairspray was gone.

Hil seemed to be worse-off than me, and requested that I drive myself to the airport and hopefully she’d feel better enough on the drive back.  Ok, well let me just get some water in me and we’re good to go.   We arrived at the airport in perfect time (8am for my 8:30 flight), and I hopped out with my bags to head to the security line.

I’m getting pretty used to going through this line, and have a permenantly packed liquids bag (a nice one that came with my suitcase) and I try to wear slip on shoes and no belts.  I come up to the short security line (thank goodness!) and there is a man, handing out ziplock bags.  He asks me if I would like one, and I say, no thanks.  He then asks if my old one is wearing out and if I would like a new one :-S hmmm, it’s 8am, and I’m still groggy from the bottle of wine, 2 shots and beer from the previous night.  I debate whether I should tell him I have a permanent one, not really knowing how to describe it at that time,  I decide on, “no, I’m fine” and walk to the PDX-SEA shuttle line.

As I approach this line, choosing to NOT go behind the old lady and getting frustrated over people’s inability to STILL not have this process down (it’s been what, 8 years?!).  Grab your bins and move forward people!  Little sleep = little patience.  I get my stuff in (that’s what she said) and shove it forward, nothing goes off (… hehehehe) as I go through the metal detector – and I proceed to wait for my stuff to come along.

As they moved the conveyor belt back-and-forth, and the TSA lady called over a co-worker, I begin to think, oh no, there’s still just a little bit of liquid left in my wine rack and they need to take a look.  Seriously, this is going to be kinda embarrassing to explain.

The lady pulls me and my bag off, and she gives me the “don’t touch anything” speech and begins digging – not headed toward the bra at all… hmm, I wonder, should I just give it up and tell her its right in front of her?  She then tells me they saw an aerosal can and asks where it might be.  Oh THAT’S all! **SIGH**  I couldn’t remember exactly where I’d put the Sally Hansen spray-on legless tanner – but TSA found it.  I told her I didn’t really care about it, but she said since it was only “just over the limit” she’d let me by this time. (great security, huh?)  Sweet, I still have my $14 bottle of tanner – which, I’m sure I’ll be able to use again and again, right?

I laughed to myself as I walked away, glad I didn’t get my wine rack confiscated.  And for those of you who have not seen the beauty that is the wine rack, you can check it out here https://www.thebeerbelly.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=200-007.  I’d like to say I looked that good in it, but I’d be lying.  And pouring it in your mouth in such a subtly hot fashion doesn’t really work either, I think sometimes I got more wine dripped on me, than in me… 

Anyway, I made it safely to my knitting class, all in one piece and I survived it to go home and veg-out to Family Guy.:)  All in all a great weekend, sans the crazy TSA people;-).